already overwhelmed & a little homesick

wow, the culture shock is insane. actually...let me specify: it's just the French language that has been seriously scaring me. i am realizing, very harshly, that i am TERRIBLE at speaking French. i mean, i was able to go to the post office this morning to pick up a concert ticket that i tried to have mailed to my study abroad program's office two weeks ago. and that was fine. and last night i walked around the corner and ordered a pizza margherita to-go. i brought it back to my dorm and ate the whole thing by myself, in one sitting. i'm weird...i know. but i was able to ask for that. but i feel like i'm just trying to say the basic words in every sentence, and that it doesn't link together as a full thought. does that make any sense to anyone? anyway, i need to study French on my own a lot, whenever i get a chance.

a view of of Rue de Montreuil (my walk to the métro)

and another.

but ok...now that my whining is over with, (for now) i'll talk about today.
like i said, this morning i got up around 8:45 and left my house around 9:00 to take the metro over to the CEA Office. but first i had to stop at the post office to pick up my concert ticket. that went smoothly, and i actually made it to CEA on time, at 10:00. also, on the way, bought a schweppes soda flavored with agram (whatever that is) inside of my métro station while waiting for the train. for some reason...the laws of physics & chemistry totally slipped my mind. so i opened the bottle without thinking that it would explode on me. it did...soda and carbonation everywhere. my jeans got wet...and so did my jacket and shoes. i only had one small tissue on me, but i cleaned myself off as best i could. a few seconds into it, two kids walked by with their dad and they sorta' giggled at my misfortune. i didn't take it personally. kids are vicious and ignorant of manners, worldwide. so it was expected. 

my newly discovered deliciousness, which attacked me

once i got there, we had an informational meeting about the basics of life in Paris for two hours or so. then we went to a restaurant nearby (i didn't even look at the name...ugh) and the directors bought us lunch! it was a fixed menu, because they wanted us to try this typical French meal. it was the croque-monsieur...which is basically half of a grilled cheese & ham sandwich. it was served with fries, and it was pretty great! then we had crepes with nutella in them. (sorry, i didn't take a picture of them...i forgot to take photos of a lot of things today) but they were great! pretty much exactly like clatite. Romanians know what i mean. they were just folded into four, instead of rolled like Romanians do it.

my croque-monsieur

then we returned back to CEA for a meeting with a guy named rob from PicCell, a cheap cellphone service for students. i don't know if i should've done it...if my parents will be upset about it...but i did. it was very cheap to start, and the rates are very good. i hope i don't rack up a large bill, though. i will try to use it only when i really need to. but it's good to have, to be able to get in touch with other students on the program with me in Paris. AND...my phone works on the métro! yes, underground! my phone NEVER worked on the subway back in atlanta. so, i was really excited about that discovery.

my french cellphone. the photo won't post landscape. weird.

                                     

toilets are weird here. is this for half-flush & full-flush? i have no clue.

after that meeting, i was hanging around CEA for a while when i saw arlinda. she's a girl on the program from new york city, and we talked on facebook for a few weeks before this. but i finally met her! she seems really nice and sweet, and she's easy to talk to. i really like her new york accent too! no offense to anyone else...but i just feel strange around a lot of the other CEA students. they all seem like, since they've been here for a few weeks, they all have their own friends and lives, and don't seem extremely interested to hang out. that's totally understandable, though. i would feel the same way. and besides, i'm sorta' afraid to talk to them too. but that's just my nature: i'm bad at meeting people. unfortunately. arlinda has a lot of friends here too...but she was the only one who asked me if i wanted to hang out at all today. (one of my roommates did too...michael. he took me grocery shopping with him, to see what it's like.) i should give people more time to warm up. i will.

but...arlinda and i walked around for a while nearby CEA. we pretty much walked in a large square path a few blocks around the centre georges pompidou, which i think is pretty awesome. then she went back to CEA for a class, and i went back to my dorm via the subway.
once i got there, michael showed up soon after. he asked if i wanted to go grocery shopping...so i went, to learn. it was so hectic and busy. trying to find things was difficult too, being that my vocabulary sucks...so reading the signs on the aisles was useless. but i bought a few things...vegetables, cheese, bread, sliced meat, chips, coke, orangina...i think that's it. but it was scary. everything is scary, right now.

a very small part of the centre georges pompidou

we returned home, only a few blocks away. and i put everything into my clear plastic box with my name on it and put it in the huge refrigerator in the big kitchen on the main floor. by the way...i think i am going to lose A LOT of weight while i'm here. i really wish i were fat, so i could afford to lose a lot. i find the shared kitchen (for the whole building!) to be very weird. you just use things, wash them, and set them out to dry. but michael said to re-wash anything you want to use, before using me. it just worries me that nothing is really clean, and that germs are all over the place. there are people from all over the world at my building! and the idea of cooking around total strangers creeps me out too. maybe i'll only cook late at night, and the building owners will think i'm insane when they find me there. and then tell me that i can't cook that late. ugh. this sounds terrible...but it's bad enough having French culture shock. i don't want multiple culture shocks! i heard people in my building today speaking German, Spanish...and some other weird language that i couldn't even guess! it really makes me wonder if i should've studied abroad somewhere where they speak English, like England or Australia. i think i would've instantly acclimated myself to a situation like this if i didn't have to learn a new language to do so. but it's too late...i have to make this work. and i don't quit anything i start...even if i have to turn in a terrible project/essay/test. i just get it done. so this will be the same. i will struggle through it until june. woah, that was a long, worrisome rant about my fears so far. but i needed to vent. so telling you all, and telling arlinda, helps.

speaking of her...i then went out to meet her outside of a random métro station. it was weird, because her apartment (which i like so much better than my dorm!) is only three blocks away from me! and the métro station we met at was only a few stops away from her. but instead of walking (which would've been faster) i decided to take the métro. it took longer than i had expected, and i had to transfer three times, and it was crowded. but i finally got there, a few minutes late. then we walked around for a good while trying to find her street to get back to her place. she was at a friend's place, and wanted to walk back to her apartment and chat/explore while we did so. well, we got lost. and we asked multiple people for help, who all told us different things. it was pretty crazy. but we finally got to her apartment. we stopped at mcdonald's on the way, and i was able to order a big mac, fries, and coke in French. OMG! i re-fell in love with Pommes-Frites-Sauce too! i forgot about it, from last time i was here. but it's delicious! anyway...we ate there, and then i saw her apartment for a minute.

not exciting. but it's my receipt from mcd's

then, i left and walked the few minutes back to my dorm. it is unbelievably close. i didn't expect it to be. and on the way i discovered a very cool-looking, small restaurant called Café Titon, at the other end of my street...Rue Titon. i will have to check it out in the near future.


but now i am here, sitting on my bed (five inches off of the ground) underneath the stairs going up to the loft portion of my dorm. it's so small and crowded, and messy, but i do enjoy the fact that i am somewhat covered. it feels pretty cozy having the stairs make shade over my bed. and i slept very well last night. so no complaints about the bed...yet?

my street, Rue Titon, at night. my dorm is a few more down, on the left side.

in other news: i met my roommates. finally. well...two of them. like i said before, i met michael. he's from buffalo, new york and goes to school at university of pittsburgh. i also "met" alex, from california and goes to berkeley, last night when he showed up at 1:00 am. i woke up, said hi and shook his hand...and fell asleep again. we ran into eachother again today at CEA and spoke briefly. but they both seem very busy, and have their own plans. so i don't impose myself. i wonder if these guys had a night where they just sat and talked to eachother about themselves to get to know eachother. and maybe i just missed it because my program started almost a month later. i don't know. i feel disadvantaged because of that. but i have to just go with it.


ok...i'm very tired, and it is finally night here in Paris. so i think will go to bed soon, so i can get up again tomorrow morning for more meetings at CEA and things of that nature tomorrow. goodnight. (oh...i can't wait for sunday. i really need to go to a church, somewhere. anywhere. this sounds strange...but i feel really happy & out-of-body when i'm singing/praising God. nothing else matters, and nothing else exists but that...for a while. i'm going to do it as often as i can, to stay sane.)

- hitting reality like a brick wall